When Jack asked me to speak I was honoured and humbled to be part of this day. But I soon became confused. I started thinking about what to say. I struggled deciding how to structure my thoughts and what to say in my opening remarks. The enormity of the thing didn't catch me. That is self-evident in this tragedy. I had no worries about opening up and sharing my sadness with a crowd. I had no fear of public speaking.
I was confused by vocabulary.
I didn't know what to call this. I thought of referring to it as a memorial. But that seemed too sad for a kid with such a genuine love of life. I wondered if it should be a celebration of life. But that seemed to mock the circumstances of a life ended too soon. I couldn't decide how to address the crowd without resorting to words too small and inappropriate. 'Welcome to our event'. 'We are glad you could be here on this occasion'. Everything sounded wrong. They sounded weird. And then I realized I had the premise wrong. Blake's concern for the mortal world has ended. But his life, for those in this room, isn't finished.
There are not many things in life I am sure of. All the big questions fall short of certainty in my mind. I don't know any truths about god or the universe or what should or shouldn't happen. What I do know is that life, at its essence, is about relationships. In that simple truth lies the tragedy and the salvation of Blake's passing.
Losing Blake is a gut punch of grief for many reasons. He was a good kid, on the verge of becoming a wonderful young man. The hard work of raising him was lessening a little and Blake's family were starting to see the individual beauty they had created.
All of this sucks.
All of this is a potent reminder that sometimes life is the exact opposite of kind and fun.
But I don't think this is the fundamental tragedy here. Life is about relationships. And a cornerstone of Blake's family and friends has been altered beyond recognition. For Jack, Erin, and Donna a pillar of family has been removed. For Autumn and the rest of Blake's family a hole exists in their universe. But Blake's spirit lives on. And, by that, I don't necessarily mean anything esoteric or otherworldly. His memories and actions survive in the collective of his family and friends.
Blake isn't finished here. We all have to hold his place. Our relationship with him hasn't ended.
The Bible, which is not my go to book for understanding, has a nice way of putting this: "For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them". Of course, these were the words of Christ to his followers. But the message remains true. Wherever two or more gather and speak of Blake he will be there with you. Invoke his name often. Behave in a way that honours his memory and is true to the young man he was becoming. Be kind to one another, as he would want. Have fun. Be close with your family and your friends. Because the tragedy that Blake's family shares, and the confusion I had trying to prepare these remarks makes a bit more sense when we remember.
Blake's concern for the mortal world is over. But his life, remembered and acted through ours, has lifetimes to go.
