The Station Agent

I'm always uneasy when I borrow shame and discomfort from others. I do that when I watch 'The Station Agent', I think.

I love this movie. But, I'm uncomfortable with the way it resonates for me.

The central character is a little person. You know him as 'the Imp' from 'A Game of Thrones' on HBO-Peter Dinklage. He plays a lonely, introvert who shuts out the world before the world can hurt him. He encounters a lovely, but broken women, Patricia Clarkson, and a childlike man, Bobby Cannavale, who brings the group together.

It is a lovely little film. It has great performances and is touching.

I worry I am touched for the wrong reason. It may seem odd to ascribe a judgement to being moved by a picture. But, I borrow hardship and torment from others, when my life has been okay. In my mind I am sometimes ostracized. I am the other, and set apart from the world I want to touch.

This is mundane and silly melancholy and bullshit.

I do look different, but I'm unlikely to be sent into a bell tower. I get the odd look, and the occasional question. But, I haven't lived a life like Peter Dinklage, or his screen counterpart. I feel bad, sometimes, when I borrow their pain and their story of perseverance.

My story arc is much shallower.

And, of course, neither should involve shame.

That said, wonderful movie. Watch. Enjoy. Let it carry your baggage for awhile. I do, even if it makes me pause.