The Puzzle of Missing Pieces (for Papa Sid)

Sidney Dixon loved puzzles. He would spend hours putting them together and revealing the picture at the end. 

Is this a metaphor about life? 

Is each life a piece of the puzzle? 

Are our brains just desperately seeking patterns in the void?

Or, was Sid trying to understand the puzzle of his own existence. Were puzzles a simple metaphor for a life misunderstood and misplaced and misspent? 

Sid was a great Papa, and a decent Dad and an uneven Husband and Lover, and a Great and misunderstood Son. Sid was an unending project and a possibility of greatness and sadness and the unexpected joy and hatred of the past wrapped in a sensitive layer of smiles and smirks and grumpy displays of anger. 

Sid was a puzzle. We would spend hours putting him together and reveal stories at the end. 

Is this an analogy of life? 

Is each memory a suggestion of what the puzzle should be? 

Are our brains tricking us into seeking calm in the chaos and entropy of the past? 

Or, was Sidney always a child seeking his own comfort and love. Were puzzles simply a metaphor for love misunderstood and misplaced and misspent? 

Sid was a great Papa, and a very good Father-in-Law, and an exceptional neighbour. Sid wasn't a finished project, but he had realized the importance of joy and acceptance and the unconditional love of his family. 

Sid is a puzzle - hours together didn't reveal the end of his story. 

This is life. 

Each remembrance is a suggestion of what we wanted things to be?

Our brains are constructing the puzzles to our past?

I think Sid was always seeking the centre of his story. But the corners of his puzzle were too vague. He wanted to find the centre of a world scattered and chaotic. And when it finally came he was too proud to be a perfect husband, too old and scared to be a perfect Dad, and just scarred enough to be a perfect Papa. 

We miss you Sidney. You are always the empty chair at our feasts, the empty smile in our warm hearts and the multi-sided missing piece of love we all cherish and cling to forever. 

Your piece has faded from the picture, but our lives only make sense and our futures are only possible because of the place you will always hold in the puzzle of our lives.