My friends are ghosts

I look back and wonder what if. 

Then I realize "if" is a misunderstanding. In the moment friends are fleeting because possible futures are fleeting. But, what if, what ifs are enduring. 

This may not make a lot of sense. Let time and confusion and possibilities unimagined change that. Or, read the rest and remember the future is unknowable.

If is the only thing we have. But, "if" is a condition of possibilities. 

I look forward and remember what if.