I like the spiritual pornography of astrology. It's not actual search for enlightenment, only another simulation. In the abstract, neither astrology nor pornography are particularly damaging. As widespread systems of social influence, both are disastrous to many.
But, the metaphor of the crab works well for me.
When life's commitments and goals feel heavy, I hide in plain sight. I don't blow up, get snarky, or overcompensate with enthusiasm. I simply revert to non-engagement. I doubt this is the healthiest thing, but it has served me well. And I'm a sucker for nostalgia.
But my little ones are born, and I have a lifetime of uncomfortable choices to make. I like being an introvert. I will always prefer a few close friends over dozens, or hundreds, of acquaintances. I will be happy if my little men turn out the same. I just want them to be aware of themselves, their motivations, their strengths and weaknesses. I want critical little guys, not judgmental little fellas. It will be a hard line to walk. It has been for me.
I need to walk into discomfort. I need to be present and available at birthday parties and skating events even when I'd rather be alone with a book. I can take my crabby shell with me, but I better make sure I don't shield myself from my boys.
You are always welcome to see my tender side. I hope it helps you develop your own. And together we can work on facing life's stresses, when we just want to nap.
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