Torts: A near perfect fit

I have no opinion on the coaching skills of John Tortorella. Most of us shouldn’t. We aren’t privy to the internal decisions of a coaching staff. We don’t have access to their cabals. We don’t know which decisions are made by which coach or how much input the head coach has on the systems that often determine a team’s success.

All we know about most coaches is based on an assumption of dictatorial status. All we have is the professional face they choose to represent the team. And for that, I think Torts is a near perfect fit for my beloved Vancouver Canucks.

John Tortorella continues the more than decade long trend of un-likening my team. (What!?! It might be a word). 

It started with year that saw the failed Messier experiment, the exile of our Captain and the scrubbing of 94’s warm feelings from memory. John Tortorella may be a nice man, I have no idea. He may be wonderful to his family, friends, orphans and rescue stray dogs. But, as a coach he represents himself as angry and bitter and full of impudent rage.

Oh, for a return of Odjick and the spontaneous and joyous violence of our youth.

Obviously the game has moved on. No longer would the antics of Gino be allowed in this watered-down and white-washed NHL. Too few of the game’s keepers have the blue collar ethic the game demands. Most players still have it, and continue to fight for its preservation. The game demands the immediate response of physical play, and even violent altercation.

Torts represents the bully who never has to answer. He is all abrasive half-wit and unnecessary dismal of those that dare to question him. His collar has been bleached white, but his remarks and personality remain comically blue. He is the future of the NHL, devoid of toughness, stoicism and men like Gino Odjick.

People rarely understand that the primary job of an enforcer is to police young men’s egos. A beating, real or potential, checks the hubris of youth. The fight itself is an unnecessary intervention. Understanding the possibility is enough.

Torts comes to a team full of those unable or unwilling to do more than talk, or occasionally bite. In my, admittedly biased and disappointed, mind he is another Burrows, Kesler, or Lapierre. He is another pest who will watch their star player punched in the mouth repeatedly and do nothing. We don’t need another mouth to be punched. We need someone to stand up to the bully, not just verbally imitate one.

And, by we, I mean me.

The Canucks don’t have a long tradition of winning championships and producing feel good stories. Is it too much I actually enjoy watching the team? Please understand, Burrows, Kesler and Lapierre are all good to very good hockey players. I’d love to have any one of them on my team.

The key word there was one.

I can enjoy the antics of one skater whose purpose in life is to drive the other team to distraction. I can’t enjoy a team with such over-abundance of them. And I won’t enjoy a team whose public persona is gruff, but unlovable and over-sensitive without being occasionally kind. 

So, welcome John Tortorella to a team already built in your image. I look forward to a few seasons of your anger, divorced from resolve, and a team without joy, violent or otherwise.