Friday, April 18, 2014

Quick Stanley Cup Playoff thoughts: Day 3

I don't have the energy to give a fuck about the Dallas Stars. I've never had the energy. I didn't care when they won the Cup. I didn't care when they were the North Stars. I don't give a fuck about Mike Modano, or Brett Hull. I just can't care. I'm glad they'll be gone soon. Although, I'll always fondly remember the frequency with which Jon Casey tried to poke check players, and miss. No goalie has ever been so happy to try something he was so bad at. (Hasek handling the puck doesn't count, because he was just bored and crazy).

Montreal, as I've heard once or twice, is Canada's only remaining team. Talk about not giving a fuck. My team is out--as in, never made it. I don't have a backup team. I sometimes cheer a Canadian team when my team is done. But not always. It's not a rule. I cheered for Calgary and Edmonton when they made their runs. I did not cheer for Ottawa during theirs. And I've lived in that city. I cheer for players, once my collection of laundry is put away for the year. This year I might cheer for Boston. (Good luck winning now that you have a little Canuck's lifer stink on the bandwagon).

Lucic loves to stick guys in the nuts. I don't have a massive problem with this. It's dirty and hurts, but the pain goes away quick. You can't really wind up and swing at a dude's package. It mostly hurts the ego.....and the testicles. I'd rather see a nut shot than a slash to an exposed wrist. Those slashes routinely take out players. I've only ever known a slap shot to the family jewels to be an issue. Still, idiot move. Lucic may not be amongst the great minds of his generation.

That said, I loathe Detroit. Yes, they're good. Yes, they 'do it the right way'. Yes, it's a shame Babcock hasn't won a Jack Adams. Yes, yes, yes. I hate the media's gushing, orgasmic love for anything Detroit. I also hate the whitewashing of their history. No, they don't have any tough guys right now. But McCarthy, Probert, Kocur, and perhaps the greatest Wing of all-time and one of the dirtiest players of his era Mr. Hockey. Why is Detroit good, always? They draft great. That's it. That's the whole story. Personal pet peeve, not important but fuck you Detroit. Actually, fuck you lazy media narratives about Detroit. Motor City, we're good.

Tampa's back end is too big--make jokes here.

Corey Perry is, in the tradition of Chris Pronger, a magnificent bastard.

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